Hair Wrecks - Where Professional Haircuts Go Horribly Wrong

If you know me, you might know that I'm a big Cake Wrecks fan (if you haven't been there, you should visit the site every now and again.  Jen is a hoot - http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/.  She has me laughing to tears at least once a week.  But I digress....)  One of the primary premises of Cake Wrecks is that the cake can't be done by just any amateur, home-kitchen "chef"; rather it must be baked and decorated by someone who fancies themselves a "professional" and thusly gets *paid* to make their wrecky sweets.  Today, I present to you my version:  Hair Wrecks - Where Professional Haircuts Go Horribly Wrong.

First, the picture that made me think "hey, my girl needs her locks lopped."

It's like a school portrait, right in my kitchen. 

Underneath those long bangs are some beautiful hazel eyes ("not blue, like Daddy's and Ellery's - hazel like YOURs, Mommy!" she often tells me :).  Anyway, those long bangs are usually my cue to get to the hair-cuttin' store to get her hair trimmed up (notice I said "trimmed up," not sliced and diced).  I knew this weekend would be picture-takin' time for our fantastic (oooh!  I can't wait!) Christmas card, so I wanted to get this taken care of, post-haste.

Because John needed to get his hair cut, too, and because Ellery was sick, I opted for efficiency over logic:  I let Tanner go with John to get her hair cut.  I will long consider this to be the fatal flaw (I don't blame John, I just think I would have known it was going wrong from the start!  I blame the "beautician").  You see, we used to have a dedicated "kids salon" we went to, but with the fall of the economy came the fall of the boutiquey kids salon.  When we're not near Flora to have Jane cut her hair, we've bounced around from Great Clips to Cost Cutters to a few more-boutique-ish places, whatever we were near.  They've never done a horrible job, so I figured John could take her and they wouldn't do TOO bad, even if I wasn't hovering over.  Ha.  Ha.  Ha.

I sent John with a list of buzz words - "Tell them you want it stacked and wedged at the bottom, not a blunt cut."  These are the words I use everytime.  How could he go wrong? 

THIS is how it can go wrong.
A blunt cut it is not.  Nor is it particularly even.
I guess I needed to specify that.

In case you've forgotten what her original haircut was (and has been since she was roughly 18 months old): 

Oh, those cute tresses!!!

The last picture before....DOOMSDAY...

John tells me that the "beauticians" at the salon were all very complimentary of her new style.  Apparently, they thought it looked like a "Suri Cruise" cut:

 

Really?  (glancing back to previous picture).  REALLY???



I have a few other comparisons that might be more accurate: 



Jonah (from Sleepless in Seattle), meet your doppelganger:



                                             

Or maybe she has Bieber Fever?

                            

She's even got that far-out gaze thing goin' on.

Or, lastly, maybe she's got a magic vibe:

Harry Potter?  Meet...



Harriett Potter :)
Silly Muggle.

I will always wonder if they thought there was a boy sitting in that chair, despite the fact that she was in a pink dress.  Obviously their vision is skewed.

Tonight, John got a lesson in how to put her hair in a little ponytail because that is the *only* way I've found to make the do...well....doable.  I'm still considering how headbands look.  So, we're making progress, and after hair products, blow drying, curling, and flat ironing, this emerged:



OMG.  Ultimate Cuteness.  And the ONLY sneak-peak Christmas pic you're gonna get!



It just goes to show you that even a bad haircut can't mask a true beauty :)

She does tell me that she wants it to be long again, however :)